Friday, May 25, 2012

Arranged Marriage

As she readied herself yet again for the 'now familiar' ritual, brushing the last strand of her hair off her tensed face, random thoughts invaded her mind.  Fast and furious thoughts, half eager, a bit anxious about what the day would unfold and yet, half hearted. Half hearted, true. The man hunt had become a routine affair for her. She had been through the farce way too many times to keep up the excitement and today, she was in no mood to fake. Rather she thought to herself,  'had I ever tried it even a few times, I would have been married by now!'. Phew! Talk of self inflicted woes. As she went about perfecting the ambiance, the thoughts still troubled her. More than they ever did. Its difficult when you don't know what you want from life leave alone a life partner.

The past experiences has tempered her too much. And only she knew that behind the tough carefree and care two- hoots personality of hers, was a woman who was crumbling. Her own ambition had driven her to the edge and circumstances just added their bit to make it look like a perfectly twisted movie plot. She was too worn out to realign her goals and take a stock of what was happening, "go with the flow", she would instruct herself often.

Today the day had arrived and they were to meet. The long conversations on the phone, sessions of skyping and all the exchange of ideas, had managed to keep him interested. Yet, she knew it was half hearted. She hated herself for being bereft of emotions and wondered if 'normal' things would ever happen to her. By the way, why would someone want to settle down with her, she thought. She had no USP. She was nearing thirty and it had started showing. Not in her best physical form too. She thought to herself, "Its only fair, why would someone marry me?"

The bell rung and the thoughts were interrupted. She opened the door half consoling herself to be prepared for the mental miscarriage if this did not work out. He arrived and to her surprise, he was like a breath of fresh air. He was childish and spoke a lot. Not exactly her type. But then she thought to herself, what is it that I have been looking for all this while, isn't it 'someone to make me smile'.

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